


I (don’t) need your love

by dumplingshotaro



Series: Random books I wrote that I don’t want deleted from my drafts [1]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: ChenJi, Eventual Smut, M/M, Minor Bang Chan - Freeform, Minor Bang Chan/Seo Changbin, Minor changbin, bottomjaemin, hyunjin and chan are a flirt, jaemin is sad a lot, jeno likes jisung, nomin, taeyong is an older brother, topjeno
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-22
Updated: 2021-03-18
Packaged: 2021-03-23 12:55:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,503
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30055806
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dumplingshotaro/pseuds/dumplingshotaro
Summary: Jaemin falls in-love with his best friend,Who is in-love with someone else.
Relationships: Lee Jeno/Na Jaemin
Series: Random books I wrote that I don’t want deleted from my drafts [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2222295





	1. Chapter 1

Jaemin has been in-love with jeno, his childhood friend that he could he practically did everything with. But unfortunately the world always finds a way to rain on your parade. 

Jeno has a crush on jisung. 

And his friends teased him about it all the time, since he was the only one “without someone” and honestly, chenle didn’t either. Chenle liked jisung too but he acted as if didn’t, which only made jeno feel he had a better chance. 

Now him, he was stuck, watching jeno smile at someone else when he wished it was him he was smiling at. 

Jaemin pulled his hoodie over his head slightly, plugging in his headphones and softly playing his music in his ears since it was early in the morning and he wasn’t trying to listen to his teacher today. 

He looked around to his classmates, fixing his glasses when he felt someone tap his shoulder, turning around, he saw his deskmate winter smile at him,

“Do you need my notes?” She mouthed to him and jaemin chuckled, yanking his earbud out “I don’t, I’m pretty sure your detailed notes won’t pass me” he teased watching her slide her notebook anyways. 

Winter scooted next to him “you know.. I saw jeno this morning” she nudged him and jaemin tried to hide his smile, but she caught him and giggled “he was talking with this boy, probably about you though” she finished with a giddy smile and jaemin’s smile fell, 

“With a boy? What did he look like?” 

It wasn’t his business, sure, but for some reason his mind was operated to know who jeno was with if it wasn’t him. And if he was correct, it was jisung which wasn’t so fortunate for him. 

“Jaemin? Did you hear what I said?” Winter asked jolting him out of his thoughts and he quickly shook his head “no- sorry what did you say?” He mumbled still dazed from his thoughts.

He watched winter tsk, closing her notebook “as I said, some tall boy, with a hoodie and black sweats super cute boy” she rambled more to herself than to him.

“Oh..” 

“No he’s a friend! They looked friendly” 

Jaemin rolled his eyes, leaning back in his chair as he heard her protest to the lingering thoughts in his mind “friendly? They won’t look that way for long” he muttered under his breath as winter hit his arm “what are you on about? They didn’t look like they liked each other” she scoffed. 

“I highly doubt that” 

“You don’t even know-”

“Can we not-” jaemin raised his voice, the teacher looking at him weirdly. He sighed, shutting his eyes and raking a hand through his hair “can we not- talk about this?” Jaemin said to her and winter face straightened in a concerned way. 

Nonetheless, she turned back into her notebook and jaemin put back in his headphones, putting his head on the desk with a heavy sigh. 

—

It was now lunch time and jaemin was walking into the cafeteria when he bumped into hyunjin, the schools it-boy. 

“Fuck- I’m so sorry, I wasn’t even paying attention” 

“It’s alright- it was my fault” jaemin flashed him a smile to show that he wasn’t worried about it and hyunjin smiled back “oh jaemin isn’t it? I’ve heard your name before” hyunjin slyly said, jaemin shrugged “I suppose so..” he whispered.

Hyunjin chuckled “you’re awfully quiet, do I scare you?” He asked and jaemin shook his head “what? No- I just.. barely know you” jaemin nervously chuckled as hyunjin softly hit his shoulder, 

It was odd, him and hyunjin had never exchanged words before but hyunjin was so easygoing that it felt that maybe they had talked once before now. 

“Do you want to sit with me-”

“Jaemin? Are you coming to lunch with us?” Jaemin heard jeno ask him. He turned away from hyunjin looking at jeno “o-oh yeah I’m coming, hold on”

Jeno nodded looking at hyunjin skeptically as jaemin turned his attention back to hyunjin “sorry.. talk later?” Jaemin said to hyunjin who nodded before he bowed “mhm, I’ll see you” hyunjin mumbled watching jaemin walk over to jeno, not missing how jeno side-eyed him. 

“Why were you talking to him?” Jeno asked and jaemin shrugged “nothing serious, it was just small talk” he answered walking faster to the table since he could feel jeno’s anger. 

But he pushed it off, thinking it was something else that made him mad.


	2. Chapter 2

Jaemin walked to the lunch table with jeno who had smiled fondly at jisung, who waved at both of them before they even sat down. 

He had no problems with jisung, he was sweet and he could see why jeno crushed on him but it hurt because he in fact, liked jeno. So their interactions always made his heart burn because he had no chance with jeno. 

He sat down and haechan put his arm around him “finally you’re here, I’ve been waiting to eat” haechan complained in jaemin’s ear. Jaemin rolled his eyes “eat then, you being this close makes me loose my appetite” he mocked as haechan stuck his tongue out at him. 

Renjun groaned “where’s chenle? He has my homework for next period” renjun whined looking around where they were sitting at, jisung perked up “oh! He’s in practice right now” jisung answered with excitement in his voice, 

Jaemin stared at jeno who plastered a fake smile on his face, he understood his jealousy, chenle and jisung were practically inseparable, there was no separating them no matter who you were. 

“Who practices during lunch? Weirdo if you ask me” 

Jaemin snapped out of his thoughts, looking at haechan who made the remark as renjun scoffed “great, now I have to go to the gym instead of enjoying my only off time” renjun sighed. Jisung smiled “tell him I said hi!” He exclaimed towards renjun who was already away from their table. 

“What’s the deal?” Haechan asked and both jaemin and jeno stared at him confused, “what?” Jaemin uttered out before jeno could open his mouth, haechan smirked “you know.. between you two” he continued to tease as jaemin awkwardly sat back in his chair, 

“Ew- I told you, I’m already into someone” jeno protested, stuffing a piece of old, dried out bread in his mouth. 

Ah yes, the simple “ew I’m not into” comment that he was sure everyone has experienced in their life times at least once. How many times did he hear it? All of his life, especially since jeno started liking jisung around the same time he liked him. 

You’d expect him to get over it but no, he hasn’t. 

“And what about you jaemin?” Haechan questioned, nudging him slightly. Jaemin looked at jisung and jeno then back at haechan, “what about me? I can’t even keep up with my grades, why would I waste my time on liking someone” jaemin said, at least it wasn’t a complete lie, he couldn’t keep up with his grades but he definitely did like someone. 

Jisung nodded “I get it, I like someone too and it’s time consuming” he added and jaemin saw jeno perk up secretly, “you like someone?” Jeno asked in a shy tone and jisung flushed “yeah so? I’m not telling who either” he said proudly and jeno smiled, 

Deep down jaemin wished jeno could see that jisung was into chenle, but when you’re blinded by love you see only what your heart allows you too. 

“We all know who you like jisung” jaemin said bitterly but jisung ignored it, smiling from ear to ear. 

—

It was later in the day and jeno decided to come over to jaemin’s house until his parents came home. 

Jaemin took off his shoes, putting them on the rack they belonged on and jeno hugged him from behind “you smell good today, new perfume?” He asked, jaemin shook his head “no, it’s the same one I’ve been using” he blankly said, 

Jeno let go of him, turning him so that he could stare into jaemin’s eyes “something wrong? You’re not acting how you usually do” jeno asked with a frown on his face. 

“No- I’m okay, just tired..” yeah, he was tired of being just a friend to jeno. 

Jeno nodded “you wanna cuddle? That always helps you feel better” he suggested and jaemin wanted to say no, just so his feelings could die down but he ended up nodding before he could even turn down the suggestion. 

So here they were, jaemin laying gently on jeno’s shoulder with his arm around him in a warm position. 

Before jaemin knew it, he was crying. He sat up, wiping his eyes repeatedly as jeno frowned “what happened? Jaemin are you alright?” He asked jaemin who was already a sobbing mess. Jeno scooted next to him, softly pushing his head on his shoulder as he continued to cry. 

I guess you could say that in the end, good guys finish last. Or maybe that was just him, that suffered like this.


	3. Chapter 3

Jaemin was avoiding jeno, he had left his house yesterday and decided solely to ignore jeno so he wouldn’t have another altercation with him. 

He had to explain to jeno that he cried because he was failing all of his classes, when in reality that wasn’t the truth, he was only failing three but that was better than exposing that he was deeply in love with him. 

He walked in the building and saw winter with hyunjin and she waved at him to come over and he wasn’t going to, until he saw jeno walk into the building with jisung. 

“Hey, nice seeing you today” hyunjin casually said as jaemin nodded, winter crossed her arms “you two know each other?” She asked pointing between the two and jaemin shrugged “sorta? We.. talked yesterday” 

Hyunjin agreed flashing one of those killer smiles he always gave everyone. Winter blushed “that’s great! He has class with us now!” Winter exclaimed as jaemin slowly nodded “good luck, it’s really hard to pass that class” he warned watching hyunjin laugh, “yeah she’s told me all about it,” 

“Hey jaemin? Do you want to-” 

“Jaemin? Are you going to walk me to class?” Jeno asked interrupting hyunjin, jaemin turned to him adverting his eyes, “um, see you guys in class” jaemin mumbled walking away from the group without muttering a word to jeno. 

Winter face palmed herself “I’m sorry about him.. he’s not having a good morning” she apologized as jeno nodded, still looking at jaemin who was down the hall. Hyunjin cleared his throat “or maybe he’s avoiding you..” hyunjin shrugged, 

Jeno raised an eyebrow at him “excuse me? Who the hell are you to tell me that?” He snapped at him and hyunjin chuckled “oh I’m sorry, what- afraid of the truth? I’m who you should be worried about” hyunjin slyly said as winter nervously chuckled. 

“Dude fuck off, what the hell is your prob-” 

“My problem? You keep cutting me off when I talk to jaemin, you scared he likes me instead of you?” 

Hyunjin continued to rile him up and jeno clenched his fists “what the fuck are you talking about?” He asked through gritted teeth as hyunjin smirked “oh that’s right, you like that other boy? The one who doesn’t like you-”

Jeno grabbed hyunjin by his collar “watch your fucking mouth, bitch” jeno cursed, winter gasped, pulling jeno off hyunjin “can you two calm down?! What the hell are you two even talking about?” Winter yelled at both of them, hyunjin smirked fixing his shirt, 

Winter scoffed “actually don’t- answer that question, lets go hyujin..” she mumbled grabbing hyunjin and pulling him away from an angry jeno. 

—

Jaemin was sitting in class doing extra-credit work since he was failing with a 59 and exams were coming up soon. 

Hyunjin and winter walked in and winter sat next to jaemin, Hyunjin sitting in front of him. 

“You’ll never believe what shit-show Hyunjin pulled on jeno earlier” winter muttered and jaemin pulled his head up, “what? What did you do?” He asked hyunjin who shrugged “I just told him to back off, and he got angry” he bluntly said as jaemin froze, 

“You did what?” 

Winter flipped her hair “I told you! He wasn’t avoiding him!” She whisper-yelled, and Hyunjin rolled his eyes “he really only got mad because I talked about his crush” hyunjin told him and jaemin deflated, a pout forming on his lips. 

“I don’t want to talk about him right now” jaemin said quietly and winter frowned at him “what? Did something happen between you two?” She asked curiously and jaemin shook his head “no it’s just- I can’t- keep crushing on him, it’ll hurt if it gets too serious” 

And oh boy was he telling the truth, he was now deeply in love with jeno and staying away only hurt more. 

“Wait you like him?” Hyunjin asked and jaemin sadly nodded, hyunjin pursed his lips in a thin line “but doesn’t he like-”

“Hyunjin!” Winter stopped him, pointing to jaemin who was blinking back tears with her eyes. 

“Oh.. let’s just uh- talk about something else then” hyunjin frowned and jaemin slid his assignment back in front of his face, silently doing his work. 

Lunch time, 

The time he regretted the most. Why? Because he only sat with his friends, which meant jeno was also going to be there. 

And he wasn’t having any of that. 

He saw hyunjin get up from his chair and an idea sparked in his mind,

“Hyunjin wait!” Jaemin yelled to him and hyunjin stopped turning towards him “what’s up?” He said and jaemin nervously smiled “can I.. um sit with you? Today.” Jaemin asked and hyunjin smiled, 

“Of course” 

And jaemin thought that by that, he meant by himself but oh was he wrong... 

Jaemin sat down to a table full of boys, they all looked happy laughing and sharing their food, but jaemin felt out of place, and like he should be sitting somewhere else. 

“You’re not hungry?” Someone asked him and jaemin softly shook his head “don’t be shy, we’re super nice. I’m chan, or chris whichever rolls off your tongue better” chan said with a comforting smile, 

Jaemin nodded “I’m jaemin..” he introduced himself and chan hummed “how come I’ve never seen you around? Are you new?” He asked jaemin and jaemin chuckled “no, I’ve been here since freshman year” jaemin answered honestly. 

“Well jaemin, you’re way too pretty for me not to have caught you already” 

Oh, 

He was a flirt, and huge one too. 

Jaemin blushed “thank you..” he whispered shyly, chan nodded “of course,” he smiled at him again. 

“Oh? Changbin, seems like someone has caught Chan’s eyes” a boy joked and jaemin’s eyes widened, he turned to look at a boy with a bowl haircut staring holes into him. 

“Wait no that’s not-” 

“What’s your name then?” 

Jaemin froze, is this seriously happening? He looked at hyunjin who was giving some short boy heart eyes, 

“J-jaemin but-” 

“Relax will you? Chan isn’t my boyfriend or anything, I’m not gonna kill you” the boy laughed at him and jaemin gulped, “okay..” jaemin mumbled and chan chuckled “don’t scare the poor boy will you? This is why no one sits with us changbin” chan said and changbin shrugged, 

“I did nothing.. I think he’s a cool guy, he knows Chenle” changbin defended and jaemin just watched the two bicker like a married couple. 

Yeah, he’s never sitting here again. 

—

Jaemin went home and plopped on the couch, he still had too much homework to do and yet the only formula he could understand was him plus jeno equals love. Call him childish all you want. 

His older brother taeyong, walked into the kitchen “hey you, when did you get home?” Taeyong asked him and jaemin sighed “just now..” he answered plainly, 

Taeyong knew him like the back of his hand, so jaemin wasn’t surprised when taeyong asked him, 

“Did something happen at school?” 

Jaemin sat up, “nothing, I’m just tired” the same old boring lie he told everyone when something was on his mind. 

Taeyong scoffed “jaemin you went to bed before me, so what’s the matter? Did someone say something?” Taeyong repeated his question differently and jaemin bit his lip nervously, 

“I’m.. avoiding jeno and my friends” jaemin answered honestly, taeyong sat down next to him with grapes in a small bowl. He frowned “why? What happened?” He looked at jaemin, “I love jeno.. and he’s in-love with jisung a-and it hurts to see him all happy with jisung instead of me”

Taeyong tsked “ah, I see.. I get it, I understand how you feel” taeyong sniffed “I don’t think you should cut off your friends, I get it, jeno isn’t someone you want to see right now but your friends aren’t at fault either okay?” He finished, 

He was right, he couldn’t bare to see jeno nor jisung at times but it wasn’t his friends fault that he fell in-love with jeno so there was no point of cutting them off. 

“You’re right, thank you” jaemin thanked him, giving him a hug and taeyong nodded “of course, now eat some grapes” he said to jaemin who gladly took a grape and shoved it in his mouth.


	4. Chapter 4

Jaemin listened to taeyong, he did, but it has been three days now and he’s avoided nearly all of his friends except hyunjin and winter. 

There was no avoiding them. 

He walked up to haechan who was looking at his boyfriend that was painted all over his locker, 

Jaemin cleared his throat loudly, resulting in haechan turning around to him, his smile falling “oh..? You’re talking to us now?” Haechan muttered and jaemin faltered, chewing on his bottom lip,

“Haechan I-”

“You know, jeno told us you left us for some, nobodies” Haechan interrupted him with an angry face. Jaemin frowned “I’m sorry.. I-I couldn’t handle my emotions at the the time”

Haechan scoffed “we haven’t done anything! What emotions are you even going through?” He asked and jaemin could see him growing more angry, 

“It’s nothing-” 

“It’s always nothing with you! Or what- you’re tired? I’m sick of your lies jaemin, and so is the others” Haechan yelled, ending with a scoff, 

“So what is it? Why can’t you just tell us what’s wrong with you-” 

“I’m in love with jeno! Okay?! And he-he loves jisung” 

Jaemin yelled back at him and Haechan froze, all of the anger he felt was now out of him “jaemin I didn’t know I’m-”

Jaemin looked down to his feet “you didn’t know because I kept it to myself, I-I thought I could handle this myself b-but I can’t..” he explained, haechan pulled him into a hug rubbing his back gently, 

“What the hell is going on here?” They both heard chenle ask behind them, jaemin pulled back and chenle raised an eyebrow at him “you’re back? Figured you’d get tired of hyunjin’s friends” Chenle joked opening his locker. 

Jaemin shook his head “I’m not tired of- wait, you’re not mad at me?” He asked chenle who shrugged “what for? I’d be mad too if I saw my boyfriend in love with someone else” Chenle teased but jaemin could see his emotions like it was on display. 

“Boyfriend?” Jaemin questioned slightly and haechan scoffed “yeah, he’s with jisung now” Haechan answered and jaemin’s eyes widened,

That means jeno, probably wasn’t feeling the best as of right now and instead of him being a friend, he was being selfish and ignoring him. 

“Where’s-”

Chenle smiled “jeno? He’s at home, hasn’t come to school since we broke the news” Chenle said and haechan nodded “seriously- I would’ve thought he had a crush or something” he chuckled shutting his locker and giving jaemin a thumbs up as he walked down the hall. 

“You should go see him, he hasn’t spoken to me since like three days ago” Chenle said and jaemin nodded, swallowing heavily at the anxiety that was bubbling through him. 

He hasn’t spoken to jeno in that long either, it seemed like all hell broke through when he left and he hasn’t even said anything to renjun or jisung. 

Guess he was skipping school today. 

—

Jaemin knocked on jeno’s door, nervously waiting on him to open the door. 

He heard the clicking of the door unlocking and he felt his heart drop upon seeing jeno standing behind the door with a blank face, 

“Can I come in?” Jaemin asked calmly despite the trembling in his voice. 

He was let in and jeno shut the door, “hyunjin allowed you to be over here? Or is he going to go off on me again?” Jeno snapped, jaemin pursed his lips into a thin line “what? Oh- we’re not like that.. that was just-”

“Just what? Aren’t you two dating?” Jeno asked over him talking. Jaemin bit his lip, “that has nothing to do with this..” he answered and instantly regretted it when he saw jeno’s expression hardened. 

“Then get out, I’m not dealing with this right now jaemin” jeno grumbled, brushing past him but jaemin rushed back in his face, 

“Jeno wait-” jaemin put his hands on jeno’s chest to stop him “can you stop? I came here to talk and not about hyunjin” he said bluntly. 

“Right, because all of a sudden you want to talk to me. What happened to avoiding me huh? I thought you wanted to hang out with them, with hyunjin?” 

Jaemin frowned, he was confused, what was happening, what did he do? 

“J-jeno calm down-”

Jeno grabbed him “no jaemin, I’m fucking calm!” He grabbed jaemin’s shirt, pulling him close to him “huh?! Where’s hyunjin, your little boyfriend? Where’s your new friends?!” Jeno yelled in his face and jaemin’s breath hitched, “jeno w-what’s wrong?” 

Before jaemin could even process, jeno had threw him at a dresser, and walked into his room slamming the door loudly. 

Now jaemin knew he had anger issues, but he couldn’t wrap his fingers around why was he so angry about him and hyunjin? They were just friends, well, maybe he hadn’t made it seem that way but if liked jisung so bad then why was he so angry? 

Jaemin sat up, clutching his side and hissing at the sudden pain he felt on his side. 

And now he had to walk home, with an aching stomach pain and tears falling down his face because he was afraid of what he did to piss jeno off.


	5. Chapter 5

Jaemin opened the door to taeyong feeding his fishes, he thought maybe if he sneaked past him then maybe he wouldn’t ask about his side—

“Jaemin? Why’re you home so early?” 

Jaemin shut his eyes, the world never was on his side. 

He looked at him, opening his mouth to lie, taeyong walked over to him with a frown “and what happened?” He asked again. Jaemin shook his head, letting go of his side to ease the suspension. 

“Nothing.. I fell on the way here, and as for school, they let out early” he lied quietly. Taeyong crossed his arms “what’s wrong with your stomach?” He asked and jaemin sighed, his hopes of not having to explain was down the drain now.

He was exhausted, his side was in pain and he probably ended his friendship with jeno by now so talking about what happened earlier isn’t something he planned on doing. 

“Jaemin? What happened? Did someone hurt you?” Taeyong asked with concerned eyes, jaemin already felt dreadful tears about to leave his eyes, 

“no I’m just- can I please.. please just sleep? I don’t want to talk about it right now” jaemin begged and taeyong frowned, wiping the tears that fell down his face. 

He pulled his hands back “okay,” taeyong nodded with a heavy sigh “rest, but after I come home from work tomorrow we’re talking about this” taeyong told him, 

Jaemin watched him walk off into his room and he plopped on the couch, he didn’t have enough energy to go to his room, maybe he’d get up later to change but for now he’s going to nap his problems away. 

—

Jaemin heard shuffling in his sleep, figuring it was taeyong, he shrugged it off continuing off to dreamland. 

“Jaemin..” he heard someone call out to him and it wasn’t taeyong because he talked softly, maybe it was just him dreaming—

“Jaemin” 

The voice got more stern and jaemin mumbled something incoherent, something along the words of “leave me be, I’m not getting up” 

He didn’t hear the voice after some seconds and he quickly opened his eyes, sitting up into jeno, who was staring down at him, 

He froze, moving his head back “what? Why- how did you get in my house?” Jaemin asked jeno who sat down next to his feet “taeyong let me in, can we talk?” He asked and jaemin hesitantly nodded. 

He should’ve been more hostile to jeno since he had literally bruised his side but he was too stunned by jeno to even have remembered that point of time. 

Jeno stared at him, “first, did I hurt you?” He asked and jaemin cleared his throat, shyly nodding at his question. Jeno hummed “let me see” he mumbled to him and jaemin bit his lip, 

“That’s not necessary-”

“Let me see it, I’m serious” 

“Jeno really, I’m fine there’s no need-”

“Jaemin” jeno said sternly and jaemin gulped grabbing the hem of his shirt and gently pulling it up. Jaemin looked for any change in his expression but he just stared blankly at his now, purple side. 

Jeno quietly grabbed his hand, pulling him so he was sitting up properly. He fixed himself in-between jaemin’s legs and jaemin coughed awkwardly “w-what are you doing?” 

No answer, 

Jeno slid his hands on the bruise and jaemin hissed “jeno don’t-” he tried to warn him but jeno looked at him and he shut his mouth. 

Jaemin felt weird, jeno wasn’t putting anything on the bruise to heal it he was just touching it as if he was silently cursing himself for doing that to him.

“Jeno what-”

“I did this?” He asked with a frown on his face, he sat back sighing to himself “I’m sorry.. hyunjin he- do you like him?” He questioned and jaemin instantly shook his head “no- I don’t, we’re just friends jeno” Jaemin told him. 

Jeno nodded “I was jealous” he mumbled under his breath but jaemin heard it, 

“Of what? Chenle and jisung?” Jaemin questioned, completely oblivious to where this was going. 

“No-” jeno answered honestly and jaemin looked at him confused “then what? Haechan and taeil? I seriously don’t understand-”

“Of you!” He yelled, and jaemin raised an eyebrow at him “me? What does that even mean?” Jaemin questioned back at him. 

Jeno looked up at him “because..” 

“Because?” 

Before jeno could even find the right words to say, he pressed his lips on jaemin’s, feeling him melt into the kiss softly.


End file.
